What the movies just don’t tell you about wedding planning

When I was a little girl, I played "wedding" with my stuffed animals on a regular basis. I was never blessed with the opportunity to be a flower girl, so my impression of a wedding was based solely on what I had seen on television. The Disney Channel was always on in the background of my childhood, so Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and a heavily edited version (not so many Nazis) The Sound of Music served as my ceremony inspirations. All I knew was that if you marry in June then you are a bride all your life, and should you get married in a church, your gown must have an epic train with a veil to match.

I was married in 2006, and at that point had only photographed a few weddings. I wasn't as involved in the planning of those weddings as I tend to be today. When it came to my special day, I only had works of fiction to use as a guide. In hindsight, that was a terrible idea. Judd Apatow's 2011 film Bridesmaids may be one of the few wedding movies that comes close to properly portraying some of the aspects of wedding planning. Having worked in a bridal shop, I can confirm I have never seen a food poisoning mishap that resulted in a soiled wedding gown. However, the stresses of a big event mixed with the blending of different groups of friends, on top of a lot of money and time invested in the planning, is rarely shown in film or television.

My Best Friend's Wedding is a good example of what not to expect on your wedding day. Aside from Julia Roberts trying to steal Cameron Diaz's fiance', the wedding preparation scenes and the actual wedding scene itself are complete movie magic. Yes, Cameron's character came from a wealthy family that could afford the finest Chicagoland has to offer, but a lot of actual work would have gone into putting that wedding together in the real world. The brief montage of flower arrangements being placed on tables and the line of vendor vehicles behind the venue doesn't happen that quickly with such precision in the real world.

It would probably take a three-movie series to properly portray the wedding planning process. There would be plenty of natural drama and comedy along the way, but it would also involve a lot of scenes featuring some very stressed people. Works of wedding fiction fail to take into account that a real bride would have had to awaken at the crack of dawn to drag her wedding party to the salon so that they are all photo-ready to meet the photographer a few hours before the ceremony. They don't show the rehearsal the night before the ceremony, or the decorating of the tables for a do-it-yourself bride's reception. Or the many interviews with vendors to find the perfect person to provide the perfect service for the perfect wedding. I can keep going.

The ultimate goal of The Wedding Advocates is to make your wedding experience feel like something out of a movie. We simplify the planning process for you, leaving your wedding memories to be filled with all the fun the movies show and none of the stress they seem to leave out. Your wedding day, and every moment you spend planning that day, should be worthy of Oscar nomination.

About Adriane

Professional Wedding Photographer and Wedding Planner. Founder and Owner of Adriane Dean Photography and The Wedding Advocates.